


How to Pick Up Girls by Black

by bulbasoars



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: Black & White | Pokemon Black and White Versions
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Eventual Romance, F/M, FerrisWheelShipping, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Light-Hearted
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2015-02-09
Packaged: 2018-03-11 10:35:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3324359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bulbasoars/pseuds/bulbasoars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a brief, slightly awkward conversation between N and Black over cups of coffee, they reach the consensus that the green-haired king may have fallen for White. N is inept in romancing females, especially one as stubborn and temperamental as White. To remedy this, Black takes N under his wing to vie for White's heart. It doesn't take long for N to realize that Black is just as unqualified when dealing with romantic feelings, and that Team Plasma's nefarious plot is a bigger turn-off to White than he could have ever foreseen. Ferriswheelshipping.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Pick Up Girls by Black

A small, seemingly insignificant café lay hidden by veils of sand native only to Driftveil City. Its small size was enough to accommodate only a few patrons, which proved to be no real obstacle with the number of customers waiting to be served at its lowest on that particular day. The bustle of the café was minimal; the waitresses flitted between the few customers almost lazily, and most of the guests had come in search of solace in the quaint coffee shop.

Within the population of solitary clients sat a lanky youth, his head of green hair bowed low and his grey eyes obscured from view by the black bill of his cap. N folded his arms over his chest and leaned back against his chair, and as though he were in a trance, moved only to tap his foot against the wooden panels at a slow, rhythmic pace. The man had elicited quite a few stares from the waitresses, owed to the fact that he had sat in his seat for nearly half an hour with a cup of coffee set in front of him still filled to the brim. The feathery wisps of smoke that had risen from his drink due to its heat disappeared long ago, leaving behind a cold liquid that remained untouched.

A few of the other customers in the café took notice of his brooding state, wondering what such a mysteriously handsome fellow such as he could be thinking of with such an expression of utmost focus. Could it be that he musing about the naivety of the human race, disappointed that they were unable to realize the harm they were inflicting on pokémon was a result of keeping them in captivity? Or perhaps he was reminiscing the shattered and absent fragments of his childhood, in which he was raised to represent his strong ideals with a sense of purity, when in reality he was being used by his father for villainous deeds instead. Or perhaps his entire world has been victim to ruination when the truth he sought for his entire life turned out to be wrong, and now he is on a quest to seek his true purpose in life.

Of course, the fangirls were wrong. Matters concerning his eventual ascension to heroism was for later. At that moment, another dilemma had taken occupancy in his mind. Why it felt more important than his legendary status as Unova's future king was beyond him (it was only  _slightly_  more important, probably by a mere fraction-N had calculated).

It was at that moment he unwillingly allowed the image of a young girl, donning brunette curls tucked under a pink and white cap, to slip back into his thoughts. Her blue eyes were vivid and cold even in his imagination. N propped his elbows onto the table, burying his face into his hands. There was simply no cure for this ailment, this  _disease_. It was not normal to think about someone so often, and yet he did. The fact that she wasn't even a pokémon made the predicament even more disconcerting.

The girl that frequently invaded his thoughts was none other than White: the aspiring trainer from Nuvema Town. She was a young girl, aged sixteen, dead set on obliterating all of Team Plasma and their goals, which meant that she was also determined to keep all of her pokémon, no matter what; the exact thing N strove to take away. In other words, she was the enemy. But even with the knowledge that her goals clashed with his, N was unable give a logical explanation as to why her presence ignited a feeling of...joy within him.

_Why am I so interested in a_ human _?_ N's head was still clasped in his hands. He couldn't pinpoint exactly what caused him so much unnecessary  _angst_. He was certain that his situation was equivalent to that of most teenage girls, if his assumptions on those strange creatures was somewhat accurate. He wasn't sure what  _that_  was either however.

A customer had arrived, as signified by the erratic chiming of a bell that hung over the entrance.

"Hey there cutie, think I can get the nice window seat over there? And a hot cup of coffee, maybe on a discount? Can't say no to someone like me, right?" N lifted his head from his hands to take a look at the person whose voice he vaguely recognized. The voice was easily distinguishable; N hadn't heard any other voice that could grate his nerves like the one he was hearing at that moment.

It was Black-another trainer he had encountered during his journey through Unova. The woman led Black directly to the seat he had begged for. Said seat was the one right next to N's table. Black took his seat, winked at the waitress, and watched as she skipped off to get him a coffee. (Perhaps on a discount?) He smirked, leaning back in his chair. While the brunet was preoccupied with eyeing the young females in the café, N took this time to observe the teen.

A red hat sat upon a mess of chestnut hair, grown just long enough to brush his jawline. The corners of his mouth reached up to his chocolate brown orbs, swiveling around to meet the eyes of the female customers. Every once in a while he'd close one of his brown eyes in a wink, and his smile would stretch even wider. Any movement Black made seemed to exude an air of cockiness and self-indulgence: traits that N was never in favor of. In short, Black was the epitome of an obnoxiously prideful  _human_  being; the exemplar of everything there was to hate about humans.

_Ugh. Humans._  N thought bitterly.

After catching the attentions of nearly all the females in the small restaurant (N didn't take note of whether or not the reciprocation of Black's ogling was negative or positive), Black turned his head to look out the window. Doing so however, caused his brown eyes to avert to his left ever so slightly-it was just enough to catch N in the corner of his eye. He spun around in his seat in shock.

"N?" Black's eyes widened, his mouth agape. N however, remained calm.

"Greetings, Black, we meet again." N paused to lift the small cup of coffee in front of him to his lips. He sipped it slowly, waiting for Black to reply.

Black's shocked expression shifted into a cold glare. "My sister told me about what happened in Nimbasa. You're the leader of Team Plasma, aren't you?"

_Ah yes, he's her brother,_ N recalled. Black was not only a constant irritant, but also an obstacle.  _An obstacle for what exactly?_  N didn't know, but it certainly had something to do with White. Black was the 'older' sibling of White-the boy insisted on bringing up his status as the elder sibling as often as possible. The fact that Black was so proud of being 'older' vastly confused N since the time span between their births couldn't have been more than a few hours, seeing as they were identical twins.

"So White informed you of my identity. I suppose you are yet another adversary to be defeated." N stated curtly as he placed his drink back on the table. He normally would have been bothered by the fact that there was another person that would interfere with his plans, but Black had been a nuisance from the start; always insisting that pokémon  _enjoyed_  being forced into a capsule only to be brought out during times of battle.

"Speaking of White," N uncrossed his arms and leaned forward, "Where is she? Is she not usually accompanied by you?" N wasn't sure where the sudden curiosity had stemmed from, but he made no attempt to hide it. Judgement from Black was of little importance to him anyway. Being twins, Black and White were always together, and the only other time they had been separated was in Nimbasa City where N whisked White away onto the Rondez-View Ferris wheel.

Black hesitated a bit before answering, still wary of the Plasma King, "She's battling Clay right now."

"Hm. I see." N averted his gaze back at the table and began to trace his finger along the brink of his small teacup distractedly.  _She's battling._ He sighed in dismay; he wasn't sure why it bothered him more than usual.

The scraping of metal against the wooden floor caused N to glance up. Black had moved his seat to N's table and sat himself back down on the chair, his glare fixed on the older teen.

"Why did you ask where my sister is?" his cold stare had not wavered.

N didn't answer immediately for two reasons: he wasn't quite sure why the younger teen looked so angry and couldn't think of an answer himself.

"Well?" Black prodded impatiently.

N took a few moments to arrange his next set of words carefully, but before he could stop himself, he blurted:

"Your sister interests me." N couldn't help but feel a twinge of... _something_  from his statement. White really did interest him, but the thought made him freeze in his seat, and despite feeling as though he was frozen in place, he still felt warmth pool over his cheeks. N never liked contradictions, so he assumed that this feeling was probably something negative wrought upon him for interacting with his sworn enemy.

Was White his sworn enemy?

Black's glare softened a bit, briefly transitioning into a look of surprise and finally settling into his usual mischievous grin.

"You mean, you like  _her_?  _White_? That weirdo who can sleep as long as a snorlax? My awkward sister who knows zilch on how to communicate with people? That girl who I never believed a guy would ever  _ever EVER_  crush on?" he yelled. A few stares from the other customers were cast their way, but the boys took no notice of it. And the other customers weren't too bothered since the teens they stared at were pretty good-looking, despite how weird they acted.

"What are you..." N trailed off in confusion as he felt his already heated cheeks grow hotter.

Black's grin widened. "Well, well,  _well_. I guess I'll have to act nicer towards my little sister's husband-to-be."

…Husband-to-be? N stared at Black, his grey eyes opened wide. There were no words to describe N's shock at meeting such a dim-witted boy such as Black. But there was also a small part of him that actually felt... _pleased_  about Black's statement. N shook his head, mentally scolding himself for taking anything stupid Black said seriously.

N stood up from his seat, "It's a waste of my time conversing with you, especially since there are pokémon out there probably in need of my help. I don't need to hear you ramble about your sister and my nonexistent attraction towards her." He stormed out of the café as quick as possible, not wanting to linger any longer around the idiot boy. As he exited, he shoved the door open, and the bell hung in front of the entrance was snapped out of its spot by force. N didn't look back.

He was immediately graced with the sandy landscape of Driftveil, the golden sand shifted constantly, in tune with the strong winds. The sun blazed overhead, beating down harshly upon the citizens and leaving them with beads of sweat trickling down their skin.

Despite the harsh wind and the possibility of sand particles lodging themselves into his unprotected eyes, N quickened his strides through the bits of dust as they collided with his face. Walking at a fast pace, he neglected to acknowledge the people he brushed past rudely, even when he accidentally knocked over an elderly woman (she slowly got back up to cuss him out, but by the time she was standing he was already out of sight). As he proceeded to walk forward, the world around him blurred as he eased into the confines of the thoughts.

_I don't like White. Not in the way Black thinks. She's strong, brave, and incredibly unique, but that doesn't mean I hold her in any higher regard than any other girl I've met (_ which is very few _). None of that…"husband-to-be" business Black was going on about. There's just no way. She's the enemy, so it's impossible for me to actually hold in an interest in my worst foe. There's no way._

So preoccupied was he by this thoughts, he-without knowing-crashed head-first into a tree. N simply sat down in front of the tree, completely unaware that he had just made the most embarrassing "tree-to-head" collision ever.

He was still thinking.

_Besides, she's also human. Nothing good comes out of a human. Yes, she treats her pokémon well. That doesn't matter-she's still human. And aesthetically, I suppose she's slightly better than most. That doesn't mean anything-she still isn't the_ most _attractive...in terms of visual. And she's incredibly quick to anger, and acts like she understands what makes pokémon happy-_

"Well, N. You look like you're deep in thought about something. Could it possibly be….girl troubles?" N didn't have to look up to ensure that the one addressing him was the last person he wanted to see.

"Go away Black. I am not in the appropriate state of mind to be able to handle your inessential nettling as of now."

"Ouch. Harsh, even though I have no idea what you said." Black placed a hand on the older teen's shoulder.

"I meant that I'm not in the mood to talk to you, and I'd rather you didn't put your filthy hand on me." N lifted his head up, the annoyance scrawled across his features.

"Again, that was hurtful." Black bent down to sit next to N.

"And I'd rather you weren't so close to me." N scooted away from Black.

"So, since you're all set on becoming my sister's hubby-"

"Don't jump to conclusions. I said I was interested-"

"And in N-speak, that means you like her!" Black proclaimed.

…N-speak?

"What is this N-speak you speak of-"

"Well, I figured that since you're such a weird person, you probably have your own way of saying things. Instead of being normal and saying something like ' _I like someone_ ' I thought that you'd probably be that kind of prick that says something vague and convoluted like ' _I am interested in someone._ ' Plus, you seem to appear out of nowhere wherever she is, so that probably means you stalk her. And so, add it all up, and it's obvious you like my sister and I'm here to help, end of story," Black wrapped an arm around N's shoulders, "So what do you say? I, being your future brother-in-law, am obligated to help you warm up my sister's ice cold heart."

N swatted Black's arm away and stood up. "Look, Black. You may have well intentions, but I honestly have no attraction towards your sister whatsoever. I'm sure she'd make a lovely partner, but I am not willing to comply to being hers. Find some other person willing to be her companion." N stood up to leave.

Before taking a step, N could feel a hand clasping the end of his shirt.

"Look, N. I  _do_  have well intentions. And I know for a fact that you like my sister. I also know for a fact that you two would make a good couple. It's intuition, man." It was eerie how serious Black looked, considering the fact that most of the time he had an idiotic grin stamped onto his face.

"I find it odd that you, the imbecile that dared to glare at me in the cafe only a mere seven minutes and twenty-two seconds ago for 'deceiving' your sibling, has decided to aid me in gaining her affections. Which I am not in need for  _at all_. I would like to be informed of your true intentions."

"That's for me to know and for you to find out." Black grinned before continuing, "So, listen to me. No one knows my sister better than I do, and what I know is that it's extremely hard to get on her good side. But once you are on her good side…you'd still probably make a fool outta yourself," Black paused, "Well, in any case, you have somehow made it on her good side…until she found out that you were a Plasma goon-"

"Then I suppose there's no use in trying, right?" N knew that he could just run away at that moment, despite that, he stayed glued to his spot.

"I still think there's a fair chance in getting her to like you though. With my advice and your handsomeness, she'll completely forget about how weird and socially awkward you really are."

At that point, N decided to start walking away from Black.

"I don't like your sister, I don't care about your opinion, I don't need your help, and  _I don't like your sister_." His voice began to fade as he continued off into the distance. He didn't get far.

At that moment, Black's cross-transceiver started to ring. Black immediately pressed a button to answer the call.

"Well, well, well. Hello there, my lovely sister  _White_." Black made sure to emphasize his sister's name before N continued farther.

N halted at the sound of her voice, but no amount of straining on his ears would permit him to hear exactly what she was saying. Black nodded his head every once in a while in response to what White was telling him."Gotcha. Rent a room or something and we can get going tomorrow morning. See ya there," Black glanced up from his cross-transceiver to look at N, "I see you've changed your mind about leaving. Could it be because you heard the voice of a certain person?" The brunet waggled his eyebrows.

N started walking away, taking care to triple his speed in comparison to his storm out of the cafe. This time he headed towards a specific location in mind: the Pokémon Center. Even if Black followed him there, the sight of Nurse Joy would probably stop the hormonal teen in his tracks.

The Plasma King found himself at the Center before he knew it. He turned around to check if Black had followed him. To his relief, the boy had not been stalking him on his way to the medical center. N entered the building, feeling more relieved than ever that day.

The door opened again just as N made his way to the front desk. For whatever reason, the green-haired teen turned his head to view the Pokémon Center's most recent customer, and to his surprise White was at the door. His grey eyes widened, his cheeks flushed pink, and he froze in his spot.

"Wuh," He blurted out before he could stop himself.

_What is she doing here? Is she coming because she saw me through the window? What should I say when she comes to talk to me? I hope I don't say anything ridiculous like Black does whenever he sees a pretty girl. Not that White is pretty or anything. She just looks…better-looking than other girls? No, no, no, White is just human...there's no reason for me to act so nervous around her so why-Oh, Arceus she's coming closer._

White brushed past him without acknowledgment. Either she didn't see him, or she was just ignoring him was unknown.

"…Hello…White," N said in a small voice. White glanced at him before quickly whipping her head towards the other direction.

"Oh. It's you," She deadpanned. Her vision quickly darted away from him as she scanned the Center. With her brother nowhere in sight, she stalked out of the building, probably to cuss out her brother on her Xtransceiver for not being where he was supposed to be.

"White," N whispered her name once she was gone.

At that moment, Black decided to approach N from his hiding spot behind a potted plant in the corner.

"So, N. You sure you don't need my help in reaching for the fair White's stone heart?" Black boomed theatrically.

N could feel the warm feeling he had in his cheeks dwindle away as he considered what Black was saying. There had to be a reason the world seemed to stop spinning the moment White came around. Why her presence rendered him inarticulate in a matter of seconds.

It couldn't be…that he was actually interested in her…was it?

N was speechless. There was no explanation for the way N acted when White was nearby other than…him having an attraction towards her.

"No worries, bro. I feel ya. I get speechless like that too when the person I like passes by. Which is why I'm here. I'm going to get you out of that state and soon she'll be putty in your hands. So if you were to listen to my advice, there's no doubt you two will be a couple. Deal?" Black winked.

N blinked. He couldn't be serious. He couldn't possibly help N in gaining the acknowledgment of White. What help would he be of anyway? Black was just some hyperactive, obnoxious, idiot trainer whose life revolved around girls and sleeping all day and-

Before he could think any further, N bowed down his head, and in a low whisper, "Deal."

Black grinned, picturing the entertaining endeavors that would soon take place.

N's face remained blank however, realizing too late that he had just made a pact with the devil.

"I still have no idea of what you intend to gain from this," N said.

"That's for me to know, and for you to find out," Black repeated.

Before N could question him further, the doors of the Pokémon Center slid open once again. The boys turned their heads to see a scowling waitress at the entrance, two wrinkled receipts clenched in her hands.

Black turned to face N. "The first rule of etiquette towards a female is paying for her meals. This is the perfect opportunity to practice that, no?" A sheepish grin crossed Black's face.

Sighing, N stuffed his hand into his pocket, fishing out money to pay for Black's hearty meal, which (by a quick calculation in N's head) probably cost ten times more than the small cup of coffee he had never finished.

* * *

_Four hours prior..._

* * *

Black couldn't help but sense a wave of tensity encompass both he and his sister as they drew closer to the Driftveil Drawbridge. He turned his head to look at White; since their departure from Nimbasa City, White had not lifted her gaze from the ground. His sister had always been the brooding type, but even so the intensity of her glare at the earth beneath them just seemed plain odd.

"Yo, sis. Something happen?" Black asked innocently. White stopped and gave a hard kick at the dirt ground, chunks of soil flying into the air and clinging onto her black boots.

"Absolutely fine," White answered through gritted teeth. She brushed the pieces of dirt that latched onto her shorts off and strode past her brother. Black wrinkled his brows.

"If you say so."

Every once and a while White would kick at random objects standing in her way in what appeared to be an angry fit. Black soon realized that she was anything but fine.

"You can talk to me if you want." He offered after she kicked a boulder. She was bouncing on one leg, her other foot being held in her hands with her face contorted into a wince.

"I'm  _fine_." White let go of her foot and limped forward.

Then she punched a tree.

"Seriously, I'm right here. If you need to vent about something just say so." Black nearly pleaded as White held tightly onto her bruised fist.

"I'm fine, Black. I'm serious." Before she could continue, Black placed a firm hand on her shoulder.

"Oh come on, I bet there are girls everywhere who want an older brother actually  _willing_  to listen to their problems," Black said. White spun around and narrowed her eyes into a glare.

"It's that bastard, okay? That's why I'm pissed and tempted to destroy everything in my path,  _just like he wants to fuck up the entire world with his stupid ideas_. He's a pretentious douchebag and-" White made a move to punch the tree again but Black grabbed her fist before it made contact.

"Okay, calm down, sis!" Black yelled, "Who is this douchebag you're talking about?" He asked in genuine concern.

White lowered her fist and sighed. "N." She relented.

Black tilted his head to the side, eyes wide in recognition. "You mean that green-haired asshole that's always trying to convince us to free our pokémon and become vegans?" Black clarified.

White nodded. "Apparently he's not just a pissy hippie. He's also part of that stupid cult full of gingers." White rubbed her knuckles, a scowl etched into her expression.

Black laughed. "That actually makes sense."

White's glare intensified and Black gulped.

"Since, it's so funny to you, let me tell you something even better: he's their leader."

"That actually _is_  pretty funny," Black pursed his lips, "But why does that make you so mad? I mean, it's not any different from before. You just have to pummel him and his pokémon until he gets the point. And his group of Medieval knight-wannabees aren't that much of a threat either." He reasoned.

White's eyes lowered back to the ground, "Yeah well..."

"Well?"

White looked back up and mumbled quietly, "I don't know. He seemed like he was getting...nicer, and.." White let out a small huff, "That jackass trapped me on a Ferris wheel while I was chasing after these grunts. And then he battled me to help them get away. He's _inconvenient_."

Her statement confused Black. Earlier that day (about two hours prior), after slipping away to battle Elesa (an  _electrifyingly_  hot blonde model-an exact quote from the brunet), Black had returned to the theme park in search of his sister. Upon entering, he quickly found himself lost among a sea of tourists filtering into the park. He had passed colorful booths, the smell of typical theme park confectioneries wafting into his nostrils. Having left all his money with his sister, he ignored the temptations with all his willpower, strands of drool threatening to hang from the edge of his mouth. Further into the park, a horde of children flocked around a platform decorated with white and red pinstripes, upon which a Mime Jr. and its trainer performed a comedy act that involved a rubber psyduck and a vat of jelly. Black would have lingered longer to find out what the hell was up with the jelly and toy psyduck, but he broke away to continue looking for White.

When he did find her, she was standing in line for the Rondez-View Ferris wheel. He was surprised to see that she was actually indulging herself in one of the theme park attractions, and even more so when he saw that she was accompanied by the green-haired hippie.

Black intended to jump in and rescue his sister, but immediately held himself back once he took notice of the uncharacteristic bliss on White's face. N's usual towering stance was hunched down as he took a bite of the blue cotton candy White held in her hand.

_Holyyyy shiiit._ Black had thought to himself, backing away slowly. He watched as N stood back up straight, and as White reached up with a napkin to wipe a piece of cotton candy off the corner of his mouth.  _Whaaat the heeell?_

It was adorable. But quite frankly, it was the strangest sight he had ever witnessed-when it came to his sister, that is.

"Are you sure? I mean..." Black wanted to avoid bringing light to the fact that he had witnessed their little 'date', in fears that it may tempt his violence-prone sister into kick something other than inanimate objects.

"He's probably the most infuriating person I've ever met." White huffed and turned on her heel.

Black shrugged.  _Sexual tension is a dangerous affair._ He thought crudely as he followed after his sister.

As they ventured farther from Nimbasa, they caught sight of two figures that stood a ways from the twins' destination of the Driftveil Drawbridge. One figure had light blonde tresses underneath a large set of headphones, and the other slightly shorter person had dark black hair cropped only a few centimeters above his thin shoulders, and sported skinny jeans that were, frankly,  _much_  too skinny despite his thin frame. The shorter of the pair turned, his cobalt eyes barely visible behind the glare of his red-rimmed glasses. The boy pinched one corner of his glasses and brought it higher on the bridge of his nose. It was apparent that he was growing increasingly impatient, as shown in the rapid tapping of his foot, paired his tightly-knit brows and irritated scowl.

"What the  _hell_  is Cheren doing with a girl?" Black wailed as he shuffled closer to the pair. White turned to glance back at the city they had just departed from, the Ferris wheel still in view.

**Author's Note:**

> This is also on ff.net and updated up to Chapter 5. And not beyond that since a year ago, but we'll see...


End file.
